USS Sentinel

A Play-by-Nova roleplay game.

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Log of One

Posted on Thu Apr 16th, 2015 @ 4:13pm by Lieutenant JG Sanuye

It goes like this.

The night before we would leave to go into service, there would be a feast. Best and the worst of an eidetic memory rolled into one moment because I can see them. The Amrazi in their long blue robes, faces unshielded, the heart of our tribe. The images in my mind are so vivid that I can almost smell the scent of the meat cooking over the central fire, hear the hiss as a bit of fat sizzles on a stone.

My brothers and I are trading stories. Impossible tales to make the Amrazi laugh and I love the sound of their laughter. Who would not? We do not speak of dark and difficult things in these moments. They understand. It doesn't need to said aloud. No, these moments are storing up memories against the time when we go to fight on the Imaii's orders. I can remember it all so well and I am glad of that now nine years later. But there are nights, like this one, when I wish ... I really and truly wish ... I didn't remember it all.

We are, I think, natural together. Azhadi and Amrazi. We protect but theirs is the more important part. They heal. They restore. And when we leave, they will hold a vigil against our return. They did that night and when we returned, six months later with two less in number, they were waiting. So I know that even now, light years away, I know, like I know I am sitting on this floor, that there is a pot of 'tcha heating by the fire. Not even the Imaii could change that. Gentle Amrazi. Love and laughter and healing. I wonder how you survive among the stone hearts of the Moaku.

Home is a door that's closed to us forever and the reality is this. I will never know. Such was the Imaii's last command. And we live and die by her command. It was the oath we swore. The oath I swore when I was initiated.And I have kept my oaths. No outworlder will ever know our language, not the high speech, not even the low speech. Only those words we were permitted to say. Other things too. I keep my silence. Honor is what is left.

Is it stupid? To be loyal to a world that betrayed us, betrayed me? To keep the oaths I made when the Moaku and our Imaii did not? Maybe it is but I can't change who I am. I gave my word and even though everything they said was a lie. I never lied. I never will.

I am Azhadi. Only now, I am an Azhadi who will shortly be serving as Chief of Security on a Starfleet vessel. And now I have kept my word to the Counselor who asked me to create this log. I never promised how many entries I would make; a log of one is still a log.


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